Diary of A Hitokiri
by Yotaka
Summary: This story is very dark and is an alternate event fanfic. Kenshin never meets Tomoe and is finally starting to love the taste of blood (Takes place during the Bakumatsu). KK, STORY CONTAINS EXTREME VIOLENCE. (OOC Alert)
1. December 1, 1854

This story is very dark and is an AE (alternate event) fanfic. It takes place during the Bakumatsu (Japan's Revolution) and Kenshin never meets Tomoe. Kenshin's emotions are all screwed up and he feels true blood lust for the first time. To find out anymore, read Diary of a Hitokori.  
  
' ' = thoughts " '' " = characters quoting other characters " " = speaking A/N = author's note  
  
The theme song of this fanfic is: Bring Me to Life by Evanescence  
  
December 1, 1854  
  
Kenshin walked down to the end of the street. His yellow eyes where smoldering like hot ambers and his red ponytail danced in the wind like a red flame. He felt strange; his blood ran hot with the lust for more blood and seethed with an undeniable need to kill. He looked to the moon; it seemed to share his desire. It was tinted red, red with all the innocents that he had killed and the more that shall come.  
  
Kenshin unsheathed his long blade, the katana, and let it hang by his side with his hand gripping tightly at the hilt. It glinted in the moonlight as he ran swiftly in the shadows, careful no to be seen. He then came to a corner and pressed himself firmly against the wall. His breath ragged he let the sweat drip off his forehead freely to the ground. His first victim was coming into view, a wealthy daimyo named Tomugi Watanabi who had served the Shogun for years. Kenshin had never in his life killed someone of his own accord; he had always killed people he was assigned to and never knew the reason why. This time it was different, he wanted to kill this man, he wanted to cause him pain and suffering. He deserved to die, he had to die.  
  
Kenshin raised his sword up above his head and leaped from the shadows. In one swift move he brought his sword down on the man's side and felt it hit flesh. Blood spurted from the newly sliced skin; he hadn't even the time to scream. Kenshin landed on his feet, the fresh corpse still gushing blood falling down beside him. Red stained his once blue and white hakama and he grinned evilly. The lone hitokori licked the blood off of his sword and then licked the rest off of his lips savoring every last drop. He swung his sword in one fluid motion to cleanse the sword of any remaining blood and resheathed it.  
  
He then started to run away from the site, not from fear of getting caught, but for the fun of knowing that it should forever be shrouded in mystery of who killed this man. But that wasn't enough, he needed more. He needed to kill more people, and he would. Oh, he would...  
  
A/N This fanfic will be a about only four or five more chapters. Expect updates to be issued whenever I can get them out, they come more frequently when I have the inspiration to write. Also, some of you might want me to write longer chapters. But, the chapters will only be longer if the diary entry needs be.  
  
One more thing, you may wonder why I am not calling Kenshin "Battousai". It is for the fact that in the movie Samurai X: Trust and Betrayal they never call him Battousai once that I remember. But you may contradict that his eyes are never yellow either, but I did that to add dramatic effect to the story.  
  
P.S. I know that this diary is not in a first-person point of view. But, I chose not to do it that way so sorry if you are disappointed in the fact that I am not. It is for the reason that I want to reveal more of Kenshin's emotions as we go along. 


	2. December 2, 1854

December 2, 1854  
  
Kenshin woke up the next morning. His clothes where still caked with blood and grime from the night before. He had a flash back of how it felt when he killed Watanabi, of the bliss he felt, of the freeness and ecstasy of not following orders but just tasting the blood of the man awakened something in him he never knew existed. He had always hated killing people before, but now he relished in it.  
  
He slowly got up and used the trunk of the tree he was laying against for support. It was mostly dead since it was winter and white snow glistened around him. The only evidence that suggested he killed anyone was the blood on his clothes and the very small amount he transferred to the snow he slept on.  
  
Yawning Kenshin slowly ambled over to a nearby lake. It was mostly frozen with a few patches of unfrozen water. He carefully maneuvered around the weak parts of the ice where it may break and found a spot where he could wash his clothes properly.  
  
He slid his gi off slowly and laid it next to him and then took off his hakama. He stood there completely naked and shivered slightly. He was use to the harsh conditions that being a hitokori came with but it didn't mean it was pleasant.  
  
He dipped his hakama into the freezing cold water and watched with fascination the blood come lose from the hakama and into the water. It swirled then spread out and dyed the ice that floated there red. He then scrubbed the rest of the dark red stains off and did the same for his gi.  
  
Sighing deeply he took the clothes out of the water and wrung them as well as he could. Taking another sigh he slipped on the cold wet clothes. It clung to his skin uncomfortably and made the cold even worse but he didn't care now. Slowly he walked away from the lake.  
  
The wind started to blow harshly and Kenshin looked to the sky. It was gray and bleak, just like his future, but yet once again he didn't seem to care. He was a ronin now. He would kill when he wanted and when he pleased. A loner with really no place in this world, he was resigned to his fate.  
  
__________ ______ ___  
  
Later that Day at Sunset  
  
Kenshin walked through a forest overlade with white snow. Soon he came into a clearing with one medium sized, western style cabin and one big, almost- dead cherry blossom tree. Walking over to the cabin he saw a sign that said "Bar". He could use a drink; some sake could do him good.  
  
Without even wondering why there would be a bar out in the middle of nowhere, the ronin opened the front door. What he saw was a fireplace and a couple of trophies on the wall of the cabin. He went to take a seat in a chair in front of a long counter and could see that the bar was done in a western fashion. Being unaccustomed to the way western bars where, Kenshin didn't know what to do so he waited for the bartender.  
  
Out from a door behind the counter came an old man, he was hunched over and had a graying beard. He carried a small cup of rice wine and without even seeming to notice Kenshin took the cup over to some hooded man in a chair a couple spaces to his right. The old man smiled and then turned towards Kenshin.  
  
The ronin grunted out something that sounded like sake please and the old man slowly complied by going back through the door. Kenshin glancing to his right he looked curiously at the man. He couldn't quite see his face and wanted to know who he was.  
  
He then heard the old man open the door again and put down a cup of sake in front of Kenshin. Kenshin handed the man a couple pieces of silver mon. The man nodded and Kenshin asked him why he had a bar in the middle of nowhere. The man just grinned and said simply that travelers came by frequently and that he had no trouble getting business. He then once more disappeared through the door.  
  
Kenshin sipped his sake and finished it quickly. Glancing to his right once more he saw that the stranger had a sword at his belt just like Kenshin. Kenshin decided to just forget about the stranger and started towards the cabin door. As he opened the door he heard just barely someone whisper, "You'll be dead before the week is up, assassin." 


	3. December 8, 1854

December 8, 1554  
  
It had been almost a week after the mysterious man at the bar had said that strange remark to Kenshin. He had been mostly laying low in the forest for a while, his blood lust temporarily subsided.  
  
Kenshin looked up at the moon; it shone brightly and was not tinted red like the night about a week ago. It was milky white; the stars around it seemed to only maximize its beauty. Kenshin hadn't seen a night like this in so long.  
  
He suddenly heard a sound and on impulse jumped and swung around behind him. It turned out to be only snow that had dropped off of a branch atop a tree. Sighing deeply, the ex hitokori wondered why he was so jumpy. It wasn't like that mysterious man at the bar was actually going to be able to kill him. He was just probably some wannabe punk who was trying to show how strong he is by challenging the great assassin that had enforced fear into so many.  
  
But, Kenshin knew that it was most unlikely. He could sense the threatening chi coming off of the man and could tell that the threat was indeed sincere. He knew if they would ever meet again her would enjoy battling that man, but strangely enough, he knew that he wouldn't want to kill him.  
  
Then once again he heard a sound again, and he almost dismissed it as another act of paranoia, but something told him this time it wasn't. Just in time he unsheathed his sword to have metal hit metal. Sparks flew and Kenshin jumped back and landed on the ground, but he barely had time to rest as his opponent once again lunged back at him in full force. He parried with a horizontal slash. They stood there pushing one sword against the other until once again they broke apart.  
  
Kenshin's hair was plastered against his forehead with sweat and when he looked up for his attacker he wasn't there. Then he heard a battle cry from above and slashed toward the attack in an upward arc. The man landed behind Kenshin and the ronin's red hair fell from its hold. Kenshin whipped around to look at his attacker to only find the cloth wrapped around his head was ripped off and was on the ground. As for the attacker's face, well, Kenshin was most surprised.  
  
"You're a... girl???" he managed to get out before she angrily screamed and yet once again attacked him. He blocked weakly thanks to his initial shock but the girl managed to get only one horizontal slash on his left cheek. She backed away and by the rise and fall of her ragged breathing Kenshin could tell that she was getting tired.  
  
"Look," he said resheathing his sword keeping a close eye on the girl in front of him, "I don't want to continue battling with you. I don't like fighting women." The girl in front of him quickly walked up to him in the dark and looked him straight in the eye and put her katana's tip at the edge of his throat. "So, you don't want to fight me because I am a girl? Do you think I'm not strong enough to kill you right now?" she threatened drawing a drop of blood from his skin with her blade. Kenshin didn't even flinch.  
  
"Look, I don't have time for this, just let me be on my way," he said flatly. She grinned, "Assassin, did you really think I would just let you walk off unharmed. Like I said to you at that bar in the woods you WILL be dead before the week is up so therefore I think I just might slit your throat where you stand."  
  
She tilted her head a bit and Kenshin could see she had midnight blue eyes and raven hair. But her eyes burned with such hatred and passion so that he could not ignore the feeling in the pit of his stomach, slight fear. But he kept his cocky attitude and grinned at her hauntingly.  
  
"Look, I know your strength is great and all, I can see it within you. Unfortunately for you though, it's only one step short of being able to defeat me." He then moved out of her grasp and started running at full speed away from her through the wood. She screamed in frustration and dashed after him at her full speed only about ten steps behind.  
  
Kenshin looked behind him, he could see the girl was not so far behind him and so he decided to confront her about her motives. He stopped abruptly and turned around and unsheathed his sword with practiced speed and caught her by the neck of her hakama. She "yelped" but then immediately tried to cover up her surprise and put on her poker face. Kenshin didn't miss her momentary surprise though and yet once again grinned at her. "So, exactly why do you want to kill me girl. Tell me. Now I'm curious." Kenshin's questions always sounded like a statement, that's just the way he was. It was a skill he picked up from the Ishin Shishi to instill fear into their "victims".  
  
"Why should I tell you? I have no reason..." the girl almost looked sad for a second but the look was immediately gone and Kenshin was yet again met by her insolent eyes. He sighed, "Tell me or I will kill you. You're starting to bother me."  
  
The girl didn't flinch. "I rather die then ever tell you anything about me you bastard," and she spit in his face. He wiped it off absently with his other hand then sensed her reaching for her katana. He quickly caught her wrist and gripped it tightly. "I told you, I'll kill you. You still dare disobey me." He dropped her back onto the ground. "Fine, be that way."  
  
He then started to walk away and he heard her shout from behind him, "Assassin!!! I wouldn't relax my guard if I was you!!! I will not feel satisfied until you're dead!!!" He smiled at her words, "Unfortunately, I have never had the luxury of being able to relax my guard. So don't worry, I won't be surprised by you. Ever." Then he walked away from her, into the dark snowy night.  
  
A/N Hey, Cherry Chibi? Can you do me a favor? I would very much appreciate it and would be forever in your debt. Could you please tell a few people about his story? You're the only one reading it (besides SilverKnight7) and I would like it to have a little more popularity. I would appreciate it very much!!!! That's all I ask of you. You have been my most faithful reviewer for as long as I have known. Thank you so much!!! And you 2 SilverKnight7!!! Currently you two are the only people that can help this story gain popularity. Let's watch Diary of A Hitokori's popularity soar!!!!! Or at least that's what I hope will happen... 


	4. December 9, 1854

December 9, 1854  
  
Kneeling down Kenshin looked at his reflection in the water in front of him. He moved his right hand up to touch the scar that the girl gave him on the cheek the night before. It bled and he touched the blood with his forefinger and index fingers and smeared it down the side to his jaw line. How could she give him a scar?  
  
But he knew exactly why, but he still was puzzled. How could she have such great power and skill? She had used a style he had never seen before in his life, it was very precise and unique and relied on reading the opponent's style just as Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu did. Yet, it was different because it didn't rely on speed as much; it relied on something else... Unfortunately he couldn't quite place what that something was.  
  
But he had more important things to worry about besides that arrogant girl the night before. Like, where his next destination was. He wanted to go somewhere not to important and not somewhere to unimportant either. 'Osaka,' he thought, it was perfect. His next destination would be there. 'But, it would remind me so much of my mother...'  
  
Kenshin got up and started to walk down the forest path.  
  
Osaka was where his mother and father had grew up, or so she had told him before she and his father had fallen ill. She had said she had grown up in a family of the merchant class, the lowest of the low, even lower than peasants just about. Her parents where greedy and did not care about their daughter so they quickly gave her away for marriage to a farmer who had fallen in love with her and had just enough money to pay the dowry for her. She was not in love with him though, so for a long time the marriage was not happy. But when they had their first child, a boy, Kenshin, she grew to love her husband for they then shared a strong bond and everything seemed well. Then they got sick...  
  
Kenshin felt a single tear roll down his cheek and let it slide down. His face was still expressionless though and the tear was the only emotion in sight from the ronin. He then sat down against a nearby tree and rested his head against it for support. He closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep, with his last thought being that of his mother's face and her beautiful smile he'd never forgotten.  
  
`  
  
`  
  
`  
  
A/N Remember, this story is an AE (alternate event) so therefore a lot of information on Kenshin's history has been altered. The information on his mother in this chapter is all made up by the author Yotaka, which of course is me. 


	5. Decmber 10, 1854

December 10, 1854  
  
Kenshin meditated under a waterfall and kept his mind blank focusing only on the steady rhythm of his breathing and the white noise the small falls made. He was working on clearing his mind of clutter and training at the same time to keep his mind sharp. He wasn't terribly religious, but if there was one religious category he would fit under it would be Zen Buddhism. Its harsh rigorous conditions helped with his training for keeping his skills sharp and nicely polished.  
  
Earlier, before his meditation had begun he had decided that he would look for a town where he could orient himself to where he was and have someone point him in the right direction to Osaka.  
  
`  
  
`  
  
`  
  
A/N OMG! All of the sudden, people have reviewed! Go figure, anyway, thank you very much to all of you who have reviewed. You have no idea how much reviews make me happy and motivated to write more. I know authors notes sometimes distract from the story so I won't write many, but I just wanted to tell you guys that I appreciate your reviews very much and encourage you to please inform people about this story!!! Once again thank you for reviewing!!! 


	6. December 21, 1854

December 10, 1854  
  
Kenshin sipped his sake, the taste bitter-sweet as it slightly burned when it went down his throat. He was once again in contact with people, not counting the run in with the female swordswoman in the woods. He was at a bar and surrounded by friendly townspeople. According to them he was in a little town called Shinsei, which means "rebirth". They said it was a town for new beginnings and redemption is often found.  
  
'Yeah right,' Kenshin thought as he put down his sake. Kenshin left the restaurant and entered the rain. It felt cool on his skin and made him feel somewhat refreshed. But when he looked down at the ground he saw pools of blood on the sidewalk signs of a rain of blood to come. It was time again, his skin was sleeked with sweat and he felt an overwhelming bliss. 'No,' he thought.  
  
It wasn't time; he didn't want his blood lust to come back until the next time he saw one of those fat pigs who has benefited from the Shogunate. He wanted to kill them, but he didn't really want to kill innocent people. Yet, he needed to kill tonight. His blood ran hot.  
  
This might not be happening if had just killed that girl from the other night. She was so cocky; she really had got on his nerves. But he knew she had the right to brag, she was very strong. Stronger than any of the men he had ever met where. He didn't really want to kill her though, something about her made him just not be able to.  
  
Kenshin glided through the shadows trying to suppress his hunger for blood. He saw a woman sitting on the side of the street next to a small little fire on the edge of the woods. He could only see the back of her head and he smiled evilly. 'No, not a woman,' his mind told him, but his body disobeyed and he licked his lips drawing closer to her.  
  
He slowly unsheathed his sword and attacked. He quickly ended up right next to her and he lifted his sword up and quickly slashed at her right side. But it didn't hit soft flesh like he expected, but a steely hardness. He looked over at the women's face and it was hidden by her bangs. But then she shifted her face and he met the same insolent eyes he had seen two weeks ago. She smirked at him. "Well, what do ya' know?"  
  
He jumped back, to brace for her next attack. He could say he was somewhat surprised, but yet he wasn't. He knew she would keep her promise of finding him again. Unfortunately for her though, she wouldn't be able to keep her other promise of killing him. But, she didn't attack.  
  
"What. Are you now scared. Scared of me. The great hitokori of the revolution." He grinned at her and she just grinned back. "Terrified. But assassin, I think I have realized that you have a slight problem hm? You want to kill me tonight don't you? I have been watching you and noticed that you have a little problem of controlling your urge to kill hm?" He let his grin fall. "So you have been following me." Her grin just widened and she just laughed. "What's so funny." Kenshin sneered. She then shrugged and said simply, "I'm just the curious one now assassin. It seems that you have deserted your post at the Ishin Shishi ne? Therefore, am I correct in saying that you have become a little bit of a ronin hm?"  
  
"That is true, I will not deny it. You should run now though if you seem to know that I am out for blood. I become somewhat relentless." She unsheathed her sword, "That's okay, I have no problem." So a second battle ensued.  
  
Kenshin took his Battoujitsu stance and extended his right foot forward and prepared for a fierce attack. His opponent on the other hand, took a stance similar to the style that the Shinsingumi often used. Kenshin once again licked his lips and his fiery red bangs drooped over his eyes.  
  
In another one eighth of a millisecond the two attacked each other. She aimed for his throat and Kenshin in aimed for her heart. There was a blinding delay of sparks and the attack abruptly ended just as it had abruptly started. He came up unscathed except for a small cut on the side of his neck and he turned around to look at what his opponent's condition was. He just watched her stand there for a second, her back turned. Then, er knees seemed to buckle and she fell.  
  
She fell onto the ground and into a tiny puddle. Kenshin slowly walked over and loomed over her. He knelt down and rolled her over, checking her wrist for a pulse. Sure enough it was there, but faint. She seemed unharmed except for a small tear on her hakama. It would be so easy to kill her off now, but Kenshin was split in two. He felt like he wanted to kill her like it was a physical need, but his mind reeled wanting him to help her. He rubbed his head as he tried to think about what to do when he heard someone say, "What the hell?"  
  
Without hesitation in one slash Kenshin single handedly cut the person behind him in half. It was a police officer, but you could barely tell that now with him being lying there on the floor in two halves once consisting of a whole. His lust now satisfied Kenshin put away his sword and knelt back down to pick up the young woman. He lifted her up and cradled her in his arms as he carried her off into the forest. 


	7. December 22, 1854

December 22, 1854  
  
"Nn?" the girl groaned and Kenshin looked over to her sleeping propped up against the tree, she looked as if she was waking up. He just sat there in front of the fire he had built and prepared the fish he caught earlier that morning. She opened her eyes and looked at Kenshin's gi that he draped over her to act as a blanket and then to Kenshin. She had a confused look in her eyes, as if she had no idea why she was there. But after a couple of seconds of looking at him, he could feel her eyes travel down his body but then quickly looked away. "What, have you never seen a half-naked man before." She blushed slightly, since she was laying under his gi the only clothes he had on was his hakama "Why didn't you kill me?" she asked angrily, ignoring his previous question still looking away seemingly focused on the tough bark of a pine tree. He didn't answer for a moment, taking his time turning the fish over to cook them evenly.  
  
"I honestly don't know, but you should be grateful to me for not killing you." Kenshin took the fish off and laid them on a blanket of leaves. "Here, breakfast." He put the food in front of her and and walked away. "Answer me dammit!!! Why? Why are you being so kind, and even if you are kind don't think it will change the fact that I am going to kill you?!?! You have left me shamed!!!" He just kept walking but then once again ignoring what she said he called behind him, "Stay here, I'll be back." "Where are you going? Wait, it doesn't matter because I don't really care and am going to go soon anyway." He just shrugged and kept walking. "As you wish..."  
  
_________________________  
  
_______________  
  
________  
  
Later  
  
Kenshin returned to the spot where he had left the girl. Somewhat surprised, Kenshin saw that she was still there warming up next to a newly built fire. "Here," he said dropping something on her lap, "I don't have much money but I went and bought you some clothes. They are suitable enough." She nodded and looked up at him without the fire in her eyes that had been burning so brightly earlier. There was just emptiness, "I just don't understand you," she quietly whispered up to him. Slowly she then shook her head and got up to put her clothes on. "Turn around and don't look," she demanded of him and he did. "You're way too modest girl."  
  
"At least I'm not like some of the shameless women in Japan today. I'm independent and don't need any man." He almost laughed at that, "It seems that you need me." Slowly he turned around and then felt a hard slap get planted on his cheek. "That was for turning around without me telling you and for being so stupid. Why would you ever think I need you?"  
  
"Because, you didn't leave." That sentence was followed by an uncomfortable silence. "Here's your gi back," she handed it to him and then touched the fabric of the hakama and gi he had given her. "Don't think that you can keep me from killing you with just few cheap gifts. I still want my revenge." Kenshin was startled. She never had mentioned revenge before. He had just assumed that she was after him for money or something. "Revenge for what." "For killing my father, Akira!" she screamed. Tears started spilling from her eyes and she ran away grabbing her sword from the ground without looking back. Kenshin just watched her run away; she was so stupid when it came to life even if she wasn't stupid when it came to fighting with swords. He didn't care if she ever came back, he didn't care that he had killed her father, but he couldn't help but notice that a part of him deep inside left when she ran away. 


	8. December 23, 1854

December 23, 1854

Kenshin tried not to think of the girl, he would never probably see her again. No, that was wrong. He would see her again and he knew it, but not on friendly terms. If he saw her again she would stop at nothing to kill him. It bothered Kenshin though; the question of why he didn't want to kill her plagued his mind. She was nothing special, but once again he knew that was far from the truth.

She is a woman who not only knows how to fight with swords, but she is actually VERY skilled with them.

She has a fiery temper, unlike some of the wimpy women in Japan today.

She has the most beautiful blue eyes and jet black raven hair…

He almost blush as he thought that, what was he doing thinking about her hair? Or her for that matter? He has a job to do. He has to get to Osaka and take care of his business.

A/N Someone said they where getting confused and asked me "rurouni or ronin?" Well, I meant what I said, Kenshin is a ronin. This story takes place in the Bakumatsu period of Japan when Kenshin is still an assassin for the Ishin Shishi (except in this story). If you see the date of when this diary is taking place in (1854) that's still in the range of when the Bakumatsu was still present (It ended in 1867 just about).

If you saw the movie (Samurai X: Trust and Betrayal) then you should know that this fanfic is a alternate event fanfic which means that he never meets Tomoe thus never becomes a rurouni, (well, as far as any of you readers know he never becomes a rurouni because we haven't gotten there yet in the story, if we ever). Thank you very much for reviewing and telling me I am doing a good job though, I appreciate all reviews and try to set the reviewers who are confused straight so they are no longer confused. You might want to brush up on your Japanese history a bit to really understand the story fully, but otherwise just enjoy it.

As for everyone, thank you for reading and PLEASE review. I like to know people are reading the story and be able to take criticism and praise for my works to become a better writer mentally and actually (If that didn't make sense to you for some reason then never mind).

-Yotaka

Fun Fact: My full Japanese name is Yotaka Gouka Kun ------ Yotaka black hawk Gouka hell fire Kun mister, master, boy (don't ask, just know I'm not any of those: boy, master, or mister) I know, my name doesn't really make any sense if you put it all together but hey, it sounds cool ne? As for my real name, that shall be kept under wraps

P.S. Sooooooooooooooo sorry for such a long awaited update but it could not be helped. Gomen nasai! It will be difficult to say when the next update will be.


End file.
